U2's Albums: #9

#9. Zooropa (1993)


Votes: 31

Highest Rank: 6th (3)

Lowest Rank: 11th (1)

I am willing to go on record as saying that Zooropa is U2's weirdest album, though I disagree that it should be ranked this low on the list. An extension of "Achtung Baby" in many ways, it was initially conceived as an EP the band was putting together during the Zoo TV tour that turned into an album of its own. I would offer that no album does a better job of allowing the listener to completey immerse himself in a specific mood than does Zooropa. Recorded during a time in the 90s that provided the world with ethnic cleansing in the Balkans, economic downturns in Western Europe and the rise of nationalism throughout the West, this album truly does bring to mind, as Rolling Stone said, "a fever-dream last waltz on the deck of the Titanic." By its 9th place ranking however, many of the panel disagree with my rosier painting of the album, and to an extent I can see their point.

Perhaps more than any other album, Zooropa is much greater than the sum of its parts. Except for "Stay (Faraway So Close)" there are no real great singles on this album, yet as a whole I believe that this record is much stronger than the individual links of the ten songs it contains.  From the first strains of the title track, the mood is quickly established and the confusion of the world is made apparent through its questioning yet spiritually muddy lyrics ("What do you want?") and meandering distortions. Though it's probably the best known song on the album, I happen to really dislike "Numb" and find it mind numbing to listen to, yet I appreciate the creativity that went into it. It sounds like nothing else on the radio and for that they should be commended. Of course, nothing sounds like hyenas on the radio (other than Avril Lavigne) and that wouldn't exactly be a plus.  In addition, the video where everyone tries to distract the Edge is damn entertaining.  "Stay(Faraway So Close)" is the overwhelming highlight of the record with some of Bono's most descriptive lyrics ("Dressed up like a car crash" conveys more detail than many complete songs have managed to get across) and nails the essential point of the album: that we are farther away and more disconnected from each other, and only God knows where that may lead us.

"Daddy's Gonna Pay For Your Crashed Car" explodes on the second half of the album and contains some of the freshest and most satisfying music the band has ever done. Yet despite the music experimentation and some of the most un-U2 like music the band has ever done, the spiritual undertones slowly reveal themselves through the tracks "For the First Time" and "The Wanderer." Both explore a feeling of hope that, while nearly destroyed, still exists. In the former, it is in the rejection of the easy way and to "enter by the back door" while in the latter the singer is searching, not knowing if there is even anything left to find...but hoping there just might be.

I have to mention Jack's criticism of "The Wanderer" though, because it's very true: "That ending screechy-squelch noise alarm thing still makes me mad when I have to go turn down the stereo to avoid it." Very unnecessary. Also, "Lemon" is just silly and "Babyface" could be sung by any band - nothing distinguishes it at all.

Ranking U2's Albums: #10

#10. Pop (1997)



Votes: 24

Highest Rank: 5th (1)

Lowest Rank: 11th (2)

Few albums seem to divide U2 fans as this effort does, for it certainly is, as Jack calls it, "deeper down the electronic rabbithole." Expanding on their embrace of an electronic sound that they mined in Achtung Baby and further explored in Zooropa, U2 dropped "Pop" on the world and emerged either as visionary or a parody of themselves depending on who you listened to. With its rank at #10, obviously more of the panel felt it was more of the latter than the former, and I wrestled with where to put this album moreso than any of the other 10 records. Because while I think that the music on many of the tracks is outstanding, and that some of the lyrics are surprisingly some of the most personal ever written by Bono, some tracks are downright unlistenable.

Much of this can be traced back to the fact that for the first (and last) time U2 gave a date when an album would be due (since plans for the corresponding PopMart tour had already been worked out) and they were still mixing tracks the day it was sent to the label. I think they would be the first to tell you (and since they have remixed songs off Pop to include in their "Best of" collections, have shown through their efforts) that some songs weren't finished.

First the good. To me, "Please" is as well crafted of a song as U2 has ever put together. Slowly building (especially when sung live) to a crescendo where Bono, at his anti-war best, pleads with the audience to "Please, get up off your knees", "Please" is the 90's version of "Sunday, Bloody Sunday." In addition, during the PopMart tour, the segue from "Please" to "Where the Streets Have No Name" is unreal. The tense sadness of the soul-searching "Wake Up Dead Man", the solid bass line that supports the groovily danceable "Do You Feel Loved" and the atmospheric sadness of the most successful track "Staring at the Sun" ("Will be ever live in peace, there's those that get to") all are outstanding. Then in, of all places, the hypertechno "Mofo", Bono drops in a heartfelt lament for his long dead mother ("Mother, am I still your son, You know I've waited for so long to hear you say so, Mother, you left and made me someone, now I'm still a child but no one tells me no"). That's a mouthful of lifetime lament examined through a celebrity life where the more childlike he behaves, the less anyone tells him to stop. However, it's hard to feel emotionally moved when you're looking around the corner for kids on ectascy to pass you a glow stick. The remade "If God Would Send His Angels" that appears on the soundtrack of "City of Angels" (a BRUTAL movie by the way) is an upgrade from the album version, but it's a sweet song nonetheless.

On the flipside, I'm not sure U2 has ever made a worse song than "Miami". On every level it is terrible - meaningless lyrics spread out over a sonically distorted trip-hop that embraces bad songwriting at every level. The music to "Gone" has caused dogs and cats to run for the hills every time it's played, and causes me to hit "skip" every time as well. Even in concert it's actually painful to hear the opening chords - just a misstep. In fact, it reminds me of the horribly annoying music at the end of Pearljam's "Black" that makes me want to punch Eddie Vedder in the face for recording it. It didn't help that in high school everyone insisted on listening to the whole track without forwarding it once the lyrics stopped. Damn you Eddie Vedder!! "Discotheque" is just silliness and the lyrics for "Playboy Mansion" have to still embarass Bono to this day. ("If Coke is a mystery, and Michael Jackson, History". Ummm...really?)

Ranking U2's Albums: #11

U2

Since their debut album "Boy" swept across the ocean and exploded onto the airwaves in 1980, U2 has constantly turned out vibrantly textured, boldly anthemic,and creatively relevant music for 28 years and counting . With a new album expected in early 2009 and a tour as well (yes Jessica, I will be taking you this time!) what better time than the present to rank the 11 full length studio albums of the biggest band in the world. To focus on only their studio albums, this list will not include any Greatest Hits, EPs, B-Sides, Singles or all Live Albums...so no "Under a Blood Red Sky", "Wide Awake in America", etc.)

While I enjoyed U2's music for years, I didn't truly become a U2 disciple until the mid 90's and my first show came in the Astrodome on the PopMart tour. As an introduction to the live event that is U2 it was, to say the least, interesting. Not too many concerts I had been before had giant (not to mention mobile) lemons nor a tv so immense that it could have caused a blind epileptic to have a seizure. Needless to say, I was hooked.



Since then I've seen them 5 times on the Elevation tour (DC, Baltimore, NYC, Philly and Slane Castle in Ireland) and 3 times on the Vertigo tour (DC twice and Houston). I've got to say, few things compare to jumping in unison to the opening chords of "Elevation" with 120,000 of your closest Irish friends on a castle-topped hill just down the road from Dublin. Good times indeed!

Without further ado, here are the rankings as voted on by myself and 8 other diehard U2 fans.
Each album was given a number between 1 and 11, with a score of 1 representing the least favorite album of a voter, and a score of 11 representing their most favorite album:

11. October (1981)Votes: 21

Highest Rank: 6th (1)

Lowest Rank: 11th (3)

This is not to say that U2's sophomore effort October is a terrible album by any means, but I have to agree with the consensus that is the last one I reach for on my Ipod. One reason for its spottiness I believe is that Bono's lyrics were stolen during its recording and he had to re-create many of them on the spot and at the last second. However, 23 years after the fact he did get them back, albeit a bit late to have an impact on the album. The album seems less of refinement of their sound as it does a refinement of their spiritual beliefs. While October was being recorded, the band underwent a spiritual crisis (Adam Clayton was uncomfortable with the increased emphasis on religion placed by the other 3) and U2 almost ceased to exist after this album was finished. Thus, as one would expect, a spiritual undercurrent snakes through October, from the exalting "Gloria" ("Oh Lord, if I had anything, anything at all, I would give it to you" to the contemplative title track ("kingdoms rise and kingdoms fall but You go on") to the pleading of "Tomorrow" ("Open up, open up to the love of God").

There are some high points, both musically and lyrically. "Gloria" and "I Threw a Brick Through a Window" are still outstanding and there are some nice moments throughout (the piano in "October" is haunting), but overall it seems the least finished of their albums. Thus its place as #11.

Hats off to the 9-3 Rice Owls

While my weekend was partially spoiled by the OU/UT debacle, it couldn't touch the pride I had from watching my Owls lay a good old fashioned ass whuppin' on Cougar High this past Saturday 56-42. Now, the Owls are headed the 3 miles from South Main to the Texas Bowl in Houston to play. A few items of note:

• The 9 wins was the most wins for an Owls' team since 1953.
• After going 45 years without a bowl appearance from 1961-2006, Rice has now gone to two bowls in the past three years (2006 New Orleans Bowl).
• Rice Team Rankings:
• Points/game: 41.6 - 8th in the Country
• Passing yards/game: 327.8 - 5th in the Country
• Total yards/game: 472.3 - 10th in the Country
• Individual Stats:
• James Casey set a Conference-USA record for receptions in a season with 104 (in addition to 1,217 yards and 12 tds)
• Jarrett Dillard's senior year (79 catches, 1,224 yards, 19tds) gave him 4,052 yards and 59 tds for his career. FIFTY-NINE!! He's also only 5'11". Dude is a stud.
• Oh yeah, and that QB Chase Clement guy, all he did was throw for 3,812 yards and 41 tds and rush for 11 tds more.

So to say that this season has been a success has been an understatement. It's a testament to the senior leadership and the steady hand of Coach Bailiff's staff that a team can go from 3-9 to 9-3 and play so well doing it. In 2006 when the Owls were 7-5 they truly were fortunate to win over half of their games...but this year, if they had better special teams on the field against Vanderbilt, they easily could have been 10-2. UT was always going to beat them, and Rice just didn't show up against Tulsa. It's unfortunate when your worst game of the season happens against arguably the game your team wants to win the most (thanks to douchebag Graham), but it happens.

Still though, what a year! Rice heads into the Texas Bowl on a 6 game winning streak in which they have scored 265 points. Right now possible opponents include Notre Dame, Louisville (if they beat Rutgers this weekend) and possibly someone out of the ACC. To read the best analysis of Rice football (and all their sports) that the school has ever had in my opinion, check out Moisekapenda Bower with the Houston Chronicle.

Also, in Sports Illustrated's latest poll they have Rice at #28 in the country as well as their receiving 3 votes for the latest AP poll.

Big 12 Deserves the Bashing, not the BCS

So while every UT fan gets prepared to root for Missouri on Saturday, and while the majority of OU fans learn about their team's #2 BCS ranking from the one person in each Oklahoma town that can read, I'm not sure what to make of this debacle. Though I feel UT should be #2, I don't necessarily view OU's ascension itself as the debacle.

What I feel is tragic is that the Big 12 allowed a tiebreaker to be decided on the basis of computers and the votes of a number of people who are not held accountable in their voting, and probably are not all that well informed to begin with. In nearly every other BCS conference, in the event of a 3 way tie, the corresponding tiebreaker drops the lowest ranked team in the BCS, and then decides the tie based on the head-to-head matchup between the top ranked 2 schools. That way, the tie is given to the team who prevailed on the field. Blame the Big 12 for taking it away from the on-field results and putting it in the hands of idiotic pollsters. And regarding those pollsters:

1. The Coaches' Poll, which is in and of itself kind of ridiculous. You are asking coaches who have been immersed in their own preparation all week, and immediately after their game on Saturday begin planning for the next week's game, to be able to give informed opinions about the other 116 D-1 teams? That is asking a lot! Basically a coach plays their game, scans highlights, reads scores, and makes their vote by the next day. Plus with college coaches being so close to one another (or at least highly familiar with each other) there will always be people who vote one team higher or lower based upon their affiliation with the coach. Thus, it really is an unfair position to put coaches in.

2. The Harris Poll. Who are the voters and where is the accountability? It is 114 voters who "have been randomly selected from among more than 300 nominations submitted by the conference offices and the independent institutions." I have no idea what this truly means, nor do I know who these people are. Why is Slappy McJohnson deciding which teams play for the national title?

Personally, I think 45-35 should have settled this, but I can see how people could vote OU over UT. The problem is that they were allowed to come to that conclusion, rather than having the matter settled on the field as it should be.

LET'S GO MISSOU!

Winners and Losers

First of all, can I please comment on the end of the Oklahoma/Oklahoma State game tonight. If you are up by 13 with 30 seconds left, and you have even ONE OUNCE of sportsmanship in you, you kneel and leave with a big victory over your rival. However, if you are Bob Stoops and you are a complete douchebag, you run another play and run up the score so that you win by 20. Look, I understand that the BCS is about style points, but there is something called sportsmanship, and OU failed the test tonight. Embarrasing.

Winner: Rice

Despite 70% of the morons in the Houston Chronicle predicting a huge UH win (probably UH grads and, let's face it, UH isn't a real college. COUGAR HIGH SCHOOL!), Rice did whatever they wanted in a 56-42 win. With 9 wins going into either the Texas Bowl or the Armed Forces Bowl coming up, we could go for 10 wins for the first time in our history. I'm not only fired up to be a grad, but am really proud of the student-athletes for Rice. Congrats Coach Bailiff!!!

Loser: UH

All their graduates will work for Rice grads anyways.

Winner: Oklahoma

Once again they proved they are unstoppable on offense and are a heck of ballclub.

Loser: Oklahoma

(See above). Unsportsmanlike a-holes.

Winner: Texas

Dominated A&M all over the field in their 49-9 win. And took their starters out so NOT AS TO RUN UP THE SCORE.

Loser: Notre Dame

Weis deserves to be fired, and Claussen should never start another game for ND. Being the top recruit in the country doesn't mean you get to start for 4 years. Jimmy has a cannon, but he sucks.

Winner: James Casey, Rice. Thor had an amazing game and set the record for receptions for anyone in Conference-USA. Congrats!!

Loser: Auburn. Absolutely embarassing. Nice job.

Winner: Florida. Looked great in their beat down of the lowly Seminoles. Though once again, and please pay attention everyone with a Heisman vote: TIM TEBOW DOES NOT DESERVE THE HEISMAN this year. Also, HE WILL NEVER BE A GOOD NFL QB!!! I don't get it. Average arm, average reader of defenses. What am I missing? You can't run the spread in the NFL. Deal with it Timmy.

Winner: Baylor. Played Tech down to the wire in a great 35-28 loss. Baylor is on the right track and their fans should be excited about the direction they are taking.

Loser: A&M. They are screwed. And that's what they deserve for being a classless bunch of uncouth malcontents. Hey A&M, Obama won the election....deal with it.

When anyone brings up OU vs. UT, I will refer them to the simple score of 45-35.

GO RICE!!!

A BCS Mess

First of all, I'm an idiot. Apparently if you get the 2008 Texas Tech football team on a field outside the friendly confines of Lubbock they turn into the 2000-2007 Texas Tech football team. Good lord. Just a bludgeoning on Saturday night in Norman. Not only did Tech look like a D-II team, but Leach helped assist the blowout along with some moronic coaching decisions. Not that it would have turned the tide by any means, but if you're down 14-0 and have a chip shot field goal - you kick it and give your team some semblance of hope. Also, if you're on your side of the 50, you haven't scored all game, and it's 4th down...you punt the ball. This isn't about balls, it's about common sense. I understand the argument that "we can't stop them, so we might as well" but all that thinking does is make the game 42-7 at the half. Just a stunning, stunning ball game.

So it looks like if OU and UT win out next week, OU will pass UT in the BCS and go to the Big 12 title game against Missouri. Which, in my opinion, is wrong. Voting OU ahead of UT is not indefensible (yes they DID look that good on Saturday) but Mark Schlabach sums it up well
here. The bottom line is UT lost on the road, at the last second while OU lost on a neutral site. More importantly, they lost TO UT. If the reverse was true, I'd have to give OU the nod as well. Get ready for a lot of annoying lobbying by all coaches and tons of mindless idiots everywhere.

Updated Top 10:

1. Alabama (11-0) Idle - Next up the Iron Bowl, then Florida. Two chances for the dream to die.

2. Texas (10-1) Idle - When they met OU on the field, they won. Case closed.

3. Oklahoma (10-1) Demolished Texas Tech 65-21. Beat OSU and you go to the Big 12 title game. Time for a typical out of nowhere Sooner collapse...or do they just wait until the national title game for those?

4. Florida (10-1) Defeated Citadel 70-19. Why the hell are they playing Citadel this late in the year? I mean....really? Nothing gets you tuned up for Florida St. like beating a local high school team. Also, if one more tv person tells me Tim Tebow is back in the Heisman race after going 9 for 11 for 200 yards against the Citadel I'm going to puke.

5. USC (9-1) Idle - Notre Dame has no chance. None. Weis may be coaching for his job this week. That Syracuse game was pathetic. Although nice job Irish fans! Nothing like pelting your own team with snowballs during the game. Straight class South Bend!

6. Utah (12-0) Throttled BYU 48-24. Turned the Holy War into a Holy Ass Kicking. I'd rank them over USC on their body of work this year...they've now beaten Oregon St., BYU, TCU and Air Force. But I still think they lose on a neutral field to the Trojans. And anyone who thinks this Utah team will meet the same fate as Hawaii last year is an idiot...this is a damn good football team. Although all red uniforms? Really?

7. Penn St. (11-1) Beat Michigan St.49-18. Okay, consider me impressed. I thought this game would be close and Penn St. came out and laid an ass-whipping on the Spartans. They've earned their Rose Bowl trip. Enjoy it JoePa!

8. Texas Tech (10-1) Humiliated by OU 65-21. I've never seen a higher ranked team that scared in a big game in my life. Nice job getting them ready Mike.

9. Boise St. (11-0) beat Nevada 41-34. Hung on to stretch their record to 11-0. With Utah winning they are out of the BCS hunt, but another great season by the smurf turfers.

10. Oklahoma St. (9-2) Idle. They get their chance to ruin OU's chances this weekend. BEDLAM!!!

BCS Predictions:

NCG: Oklahoma vs. Florida
Fiesta: Texas vs. USC
Sugar: Alabama vs. Utah
Rose: Oregon St. vs. Penn St.
Orange: Cincinnati vs. Florida St.

Awesome Rice, Lousy Irish and a Prediction For Tonight

Three thoughts as we head out to meet friends at Fado to watch the HUGE Tech/OU game:

1. Rice blew out Marshall today 35-10 at home to move to 8-3 on the year.  Houston is currently in a dogfight with UTEP with 4 minutes to go, so after today there could still be a 3 way tie atop Conference USA's West Division between Tulsa, UH and Rice - all at 6-1.  The Owls host the Cougars next week while Tulsa will likely blow out Marshall on the road.  Unless Rice wins and Tulsa loses (thus sending Rice to the Conference USA title game) Rice will be heading to either the Houston Bowl or Armed Forces Fort Worth Bowl.  LET'S GO RICE!!!

2. The word "putrid" doesn't do justice to how horrid Notre Dame looked today at home vs. Syracuse (a 24-23 loss).  Syracuse had lost on the road this year by an average score of 32-12 and were the worst team in the Big East...yet they dominated the line of scrimmage and made plays when they had to.  ND only managed 1.5 years a carry and were lucky to have been ahead at all, after Golden Tate hauled in a TD at the end of the first half after the cornerback for the Orange forgot to cover. (When did Syracuse become the "Orange" by the way? So dumb.)  Claussen was his usual scattershot self (22-40) and took some horrible sacks.  He might be talented, but he is a loooooong way from being a QB that can lead them to the BCS.  The play calling was brutal and Weis' decision at the end was stupid.  Your kicker just left a 49 yarder short, so you let him kick a 50+ yarder with 5 ticks still on the clock? your only chance is to throw a quick 5 yard out and get it within 47 or so.  Obviously he's going to leave it short.  The clock is ticking Charlie....

3. THE game of the day is coming up here in an hour. #2 Tech at #5 OU.  I admit, every sign points towards it being OU's day.  They've won 23 in a row at home and are something like 50-2 at home under Stoops.  Leach' troops are 0-4 in Norman during his tenure in Lubbock, and OU has been playing at a ridiculously high level since their 45-35 loss to #3 Texas.  I've watched OU play against UT, and caught some of their games since, and I've watched most of Tech's last 3 games.  Bottom line: for the first time in years, I truly believe Texas Tech is the better team.  

Prediction: Texas Tech - 45

                     Oklahoma - 42

My Top 10 and BCS Predictions

After a ho-hum weekend of college football (you mean most of the favorites can actually win? WTF?) here is my updated top 10 and BCS predictions...but not until I put the entire football team of Troy ON NOTICE!

YOU WERE UP 31-3 at LSU AND YOU LOST!!! YOU COULD HAVE SENT 80,000 WHISKY DRUNK PEOPLE HOME UNHAPPY! DAMN YOU TROY!!!!

Sorry, I had to let that out. Now, onto the rankings:

1. Alabama (10-0) - Defeated Miss. St. 32-7. The Tide keep on rolling towards the SEC championship game. The Iron Bowl is their last hurdle before then, and nothing could salvage Auburn's season like beating an undefeated Alabama and ruining their national title hopes. Well, that or a new offensive coordinator. I mean seriously, do you think even Auburn diehards will play with their team when NCAA 2010 comes out next year? Yuck.

2. Texas Tech (10-0) - Idle. Who are they playing this week? I haven't heard anything about them this week. (note: heavy sarcasm)

3. Texas (10-1) - Handled Kansas 35-7. McCoy kept up his Heisman chances by throwing for 255 and 2 scores and running for another one. On a less happy note, freshman safety Blake Gideon still doesn't know where he is thanks to Angus Quigley. There are concussions and then there are CONCUSSIONS. Gideon has the latter.

4. Florida (9-1) - Destroyed South Carolina 56-6. This team is playing as well as anyone in the country and is actually starting to garner support from people who have most of their teeth. However, the people who voted them #1 over undefeated Alabama and Texas Tech should have their votes taken away. Seriously. Once they beat Alabama, then go ahead, but until then just stop it.

5. Oklahoma (9-1) - idle. Everyone in the state of Oklahoma is looking forward to Saturday night and all the roadkill nachos they're going to be making while they watch the game.

6. USC (9-1) - Beat a game Stanford team 45-23. What's the over/under on how many picks ND's Jimmy Claussen throws on Saturday? 6? 7? I saw where Sporting News ranked this as one of the top rivalries in the country - doesn't one of the teams have to win at some point to be a "rivalry?"

7. Utah (11-0) - Hammered hapless San Diego State 63-14. The Holy War is ON this weekend!! Let the best group of Mormons win!

8. Boise St. (10-0) - Beat Idaho 45-10. This is one group of smurf turfers who will be cheering on BYU this weekend...if BYU upsets Utah, the odds are Boise St. takes Utah's place in the BCS. Since birds mistake Boise St.'s blue turf for water, and kill themselves diving into it, can we build a few of those fields in Austin? My friends and I got seriously dumped on downtown at happy hour last friday.

9. Penn St. (10-1) - Beat Indiana 34-7. If they beat Michigan St. they go to the Rose Bowl. That would be a great way for JoPa to go out (hint, hint).

10. BYU (10-1) - Won at Air Force 38-24. Is there a better name than the "Holy War" for a rivalry game?

BCG: Texas Tech vs. Florida

Fiesta: Texas vs. Ohio St.

Rose: Penn St. vs. USC

Orange: Maryland vs. Cincinnati

Sugar: Alabama vs. Utah

One BCS thing I forgot to mention

I'm not sure if it's 100% certain or not, but I'm pretty sure that if:

UT loses to Kansas and A&M
Tech loses to OU and Baylor
Florida loses to Florida St.
Alabama loses to Miss. St.
Penn St. loses to Michigan St.
USC loses to Notre Dame
Sam Bradford becomes Mormon and goes on a mission before the Tech game, then

Rice is declared national champion!

Texas and the BCS - Let Chaos Reign

Before we get into UT's National Title chances...can we GIVE IT UP FOR RICE OWLS FOOTBALL??!!!! Rice is now 7-3 and ranked #39 in the country by Sports Illustrated and are projected to go to the Armed Forces Bowl in Fort Worth...awwww yeah!! We also got one vote in the Harris poll - oh yes, Rice has arrived.

Now that the important stuff is out of the way, let me say that if UT wins at Kansas and hosting A&M these next 2 games, Texas goes to a BCS game. Period. They are the most attractive school out of the Big 12 for the Fiesta bowl to take, so at worst, they're going to the Fiesta Bowl at 11-1. Not shabby for a team that was predicted to go 9-3 this year.

However, their chances for the National Championship Game are looking about as likely as Obama appointing McCain as Secretary of Defense - slim. Let's look at what could happen and what the results would be:

ASSUMPTIONS:
First, I'm assuming that either Florida or Alabama wins out. If we try and factor in what might happen if either school loses one of their last two games and then that losing team then wins the SEC, well, it will get WAY too complicated. And bottom line, I'm just not that smart.

Secondly, I'm assuming UT beats Kansas and A&M. If they lose one of those games they can kiss the BCS goodbye. And also they deserve to go to a crappier bowl. Kansas is practicing the "Ole" defense this year and the Aggies, well, life is always good when they're this bad. Gig this! First a 4-6 season then Obama's win - not a good time to be in College Station. (of course, when IS it a good time to be in College Station?) [hint: never]

Lastly, I'm assuming Missouri wins the Big 12 North.

Scenario #1: Tech wins out, and wins Big 12 Championship.
This one is easy. Whew!
Result: Tech in NCG. UT in Fiesta.

Scenario #2: Tech wins out and loses Big 12 Championship.
This would mean Big 12 South champ Tech would have one loss, UT would have one loss, and OU would have 2 losses. Missouri goes to the BCS, but with 2 losses, doesn't get into the NCG. the Fiesta takes them since they are the Big 12 Champion. With Tech's loss coming at the end, UT likely jumps them and gets to the title game. However, people may vote USC up higher if neither UT or Tech has won their conference. But the computers would still have UT or Tech far ahead most likely. Thus the Big 12 "champion" would play in a lesser bowl than a Big 12 team that didn't even win its own division. Just awesome!
Result: UT likely in NCG. Missouri in Fiesta.

Scenario #3: OU wins out. South Champion wins Big 12 Championship.
Here's where it gets fun, OU, UT and Tech would each have one loss, and each would be 1-1 against each other. It would go through the tiebreakers until it got to the deciding factor: whichever team is ranked highest in the Final BCS. But who is that going to be? Right now UT is #3 in the BCS, but that gap would likely shrink to a typical LSU student's wein size or disappear (like Miami's football program) since UT would have beaten a 6-4 Kansas and a 4-6 A&M team, while at the same time OU would have beaten Tech and OSU which should dramatically increase their strength of schedule. [that was a REALLy long sentence. Sorry about that.]

Right now OU is ahead of UT by one spot in the coaches' poll (which goes to show that coaches are idiots) and behind them by one spot in the Harris poll. I think it's more likely than not that OU would be a spot ahead of UT in the final BCS poll, but people have switched their votes at the very end before (see final rankings of the 2004 season in which UT vaulted ahead of Cal and into the 2005 Rose Bowl against Michigan. Suck it Cal!!)

The big question is where would Tech be? I think a lot would depend on how close the OU game is. If they get blown out, they will assuredly get dropped below OU and UT since their big wins would have come at home, while their one road game against a top team would have been a blowout. Meanwhile UT lost a close game on the road, and OU lost a close game at a neutral site. If OU squeaks by Tech though, all bets are off. I have no idea. However, style points will most definitely matter at this point! So teams do your best Spurrier impression these last 2 weeks! Run up that score like Cougar High School!

Result: Who knows. Though the team that emerges plays in the NCG. If it's not UT, then UT in the Fiesta.

Scenario #4: OU wins out. Big 12 South winner loses in Big 12 Title Game.
Well crap. If #3 was confusing, good luck with this one. The Big 12 South's winner's NCG chances aned BCS chances period are over and done with. Missouri goes to the Fiesta.

Now, what about the chances for the two 1-loss Big 12 South teams that didn't win the South? If it is OU or UT (if Tech won the South) then one of them probably plays in the NCG ahead of USC, while the other one is no longer BCS-bound despite being 11-1. Think about this. The current #3 and #5 teams in the country could each win their last 2 games, have either the #1 or #4 teams guaranteed to lose, have the #2 team lose....and one of them could miss the BCS. Tech might or might not finish ahead of USC in the event it is one of the Big 12 South teams that doesn't advance to the Big 12 Championship.

Result: Likely that one of the Big 12 South teams that wouldn't have even won its own division of the Big 12 could play in the NCG. Weird, weird stuff. If OU finishes ahead of UT, then UT misses the BCS.

Scenario #5: OU beats Tech. OSU beats OU. Tech wins the Big 12 Title Game.
Tech and UT have one loss (OU and OSU have 2). Tech wins the tiebreaker. However, then it comes down to can Tech hold off USC for the NCG. My guess would be that USC would jump Tech in the human polls, but still trail by a decent amount in the computer polls (since USC's strength of schedule is terrible). If Tech doesn't play in the NCG, they automatically go to the Fiesta. UT likely gets picked to go to the Rose Bowl against Penn St.
Result: (1) Tech advances to the NCG. UT goes to the Fiesta; OR
(2) Tech automatically goes to the Fiesta. UT goes to the Rose.

Scenario #6: OU beats Tech. OSU beats OU. Tech loses the Big 12 Title Game.
And chaos reigns again. Tech wins the tiebreaker with UT as in #5, but now their second loss in the Big 12 title game ends their BCS hopes.
Result: Same result as #2 - Missouri in Fiesta, UT in NCG.

BOTTOM LINE: UT has a slim chance of getting to the Big 12 Championship, but if Missouri beats either Tech or OU, they could still get into the NCG.

I have a headache now.

Updated BCS Predictions

Here is a down and dirty (yes, THAT kind of dirty Jack) explanation of the BCS rules:

1. Top 2 teams go to the Championship Game (NCG).

2. Unless they are in the NCG, the conferences are locked in as follows:
Atlantic Coast Conference-Orange Bowl
Big Ten Conference-Rose Bowl
Big 12 Conference-Fiesta Bowl
Pac-10 Conference-Rose Bowl
Southeastern Conference-Sugar Bowl

3. If a bowl loses a host team to the NCG, then that bowl shall choose from the at-large candidates to fill it's slot first. If two bowls lose their host teams, the bowl losing the #1 team in the country chooses first.

4. After all of that, the bowls pick in the order (in 2009) of Fiesta, Sugar and Orange.

So here are my picks for the BCS:

National Championship: TEXAS TECH vs. FLORIDA
I think Tech's defense slows down OU enough to win in Norman, cause OU isn't going to slow down Tech. They then take care of Missou and it's onto the title game. If Florida wins out and beats Alabama, I would be shocked if they didn't end up #2 in the BCS. (much to my chagrin as a UT fan)

Fiesta: TEXAS vs. OHIO ST.
Choosing first, the Fiesta will snap up Texas, provided they win out, will get chosen over Oklahoma. With Penn St., USC and Alabama locked into other bowls, the Fiesta won't take the best team, but will instead take the best draw left - Ohio St. Then after a UT beatdown, the Big Ten goes back home with its tail between its legs.

Orange: FLORIDA ST. vs. CINCINNATI
Welcome to the worst BCS matchup. I'm guessing Florida St. somehow makes it out of the quagmire that is the ACC, but who knows. North Carolina and Wake are better coached, but they may not even make it out of their side of the Conference. I think Florida St. has a clearer path to the ACC title game, thus I'm going with them. The Orange also gets stuck with the last required BCS team available - the Big East champion. Can you feel the excitement??

Rose: USC vs. PENN ST.
Thanks to Penn St. stumbling in Ames (Thank you Iowa! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!), not only will the NCG be watchable this year, but we'll get a Big-10/Pac 10 matchup in Pasadena. I think Oregon St. will stumble in one of its last 3 games, giving USC the title. If they don't...well, these predictions will be quite different top to bottom. Enjoy scoring 7 points or less Penn St.

Sugar: ALABAMA vs. UTAH
Sugar will snap Alabama up after losing Florida, and Tide fans will pour into Florida. After Ohio St. has been picked by the Fiesta, they will take the best available left between Utah and Cincinnati, and take the undefeated Utes. Thanks for coming Utah.

Settle Down Nutjobs!

For starters, this is directed to all "right wing nutjobs" and not "conservatives." This post does NOT apply to all conservatives - just those who are speaking of an Obama Presidency as if it's the end of the world. In fairness, I happen to be fairly liberal, but I agree with conservatives on some issues and can at least respect their opinion when I disagree. However, this post is not directed at rational conservatives at all...this is directed at people like this. Too many McCain backers are going off the deep end with their comments and fears right now - if I was a Republican I would be embarrassed by their actions. The end of the world as we know it is not upon us. A few corrections of your hysterical ramblings are in order:

1. Obama is not a socialist. Socialism "refers to a broad set of economic theories of social organization advocating state or collective ownership and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods, and the creation of an egalitarian society." Obama is an advocate for slightly increasing the tax burden of the top 5% of the country in order to reduce taxes on the remaining 95%. He has never said, nor has he done ANYTHING to imply that he is going to take property or take the means of production away from those in power. To believe otherwise is complete rubbish. He has presented a tweaking of the progressive tax system - a system that has been in place for nearly 100 years. He is not advocating the creation of a new imbalanced system, just a slight adjustment to the current one that would benefit NINETY-FIVE percent of the nation...including those protesting most loudly against it.

Also before anyone begins yelling that one of the biggest proponents of a progressive tax system was Karl Marx, please note that long before him a man was advocating it as follows: "It is not very unreasonable that the rich should contribute to the public expense, not only in proportion to their revenue, but something more than in that proportion." The crazed socialist thinker that wrote this? Adam Smith. Author of the Wealth of Nations and a firm believer in the free market.

2. Obama is NOT a communist. This notion is so moronic I truly can't believe people even believe it. (of course people also apparently continue to watch shows like "Two and a Half Men" while shows like "Arrested Development" get cancelled...so let's say I don't have a lot of faith in the intelligence of my fellow humans at times). Again, communism "is a socioeconomic structure and political ideology that promotes the establishment of an egalitarian, classless society based on common ownership of the means of production and property in general." Please point to one...just ONE....example of a time when the President-Elect has advocated a classless society or that everyone will have equal (or even somewhat equal) ownership of the assets in the United States. Raising the top 5% income tax rates is not communism. Ridiculous.

3. Obama is NOT a terrorist. Again, this is ridiculous. When William Ayers committed his acts years ago, Obama was a boy. To think that upon meeting Ayers in his capacity as a professor Obama would be suddenly taken in with terrorist ideology is an argument radiant with ignorance. In addition, I'm guessing that if the University of Illinois-Chicago has hired Ayers and allows him to teach its students, that they feel he is no longer a danger to anyone else either. To say Obama is a terrorist not only demeans his ability to be his own person, but also speaks to the idea that once a person commits an act of violence that he is always the same person mentally who committed that act. One is saying that nobody can learn from their mistakes and nobody deserves a second chance.

4. Obama is not going to swoop in and take everyone's guns. First of all, here is the Second Amendment: "A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the People to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed." I'm not going to get in a discussion of caselaw, mainly because I would fall asleep, but nowhere does it grant the right of American citizens to own any and all firearms they desire. While I am a strong advocate of gun laws, I would never deny a person to right to protect themselves or their family through a ban on guns. Nor will Obama. Even if Obama supported banning any and all gun ownership (which he has never said, nor have any of his actions - or any of the actions of the Democratic party supported), the NRA and other lobbies are certainly strong enough to prevent it. So people are going to continue to have guns...no matter who is the President. Rest easy militants.

However, those who are rushing to buy AK-47s and other similar guns, sorry, but the Second Amendment does not guarantee you the right to have any gun you choose.

5. Obama does not want 4 and 5 year olds to be taught how to have sex. The President-Elect has supported legislation that teaches only "age-appropriate" information to help authorities and teachers be able to determine if a child is being molested. They're not going to learn about penises and vaginas. Come on.

Look, I understand that some people don't like Obama, nor Democrats, nor anything remotely liberal. And that's okay. But stop freaking out that this election is the end of the world, and weeping into your pillows. South Park hit it perfectly last week when it made fun of people TOO excited about Obama's election and people TOO terrified of it. At one point the kids ask Mr. Garrison to take Ike to a hospital and he yells back at them "Don't you get it! There's not going to BE a hospital."

There's going to be a hospital people. Settle down.

The Astros: What a Mess

The Astros won 86 games this past year...which was good enough to finish 11 games behind the Cubs in the NL Central. This wouldn't be bad news if both the Cubs and the Brewers (who finished ahead of the Astros also) weren't bursting with young talent....or at least more talent. The Astros don't have the pieces to truly compete for a World Series title over the next few years, but nor do they have a situation where they are in rebuild mode. Unless they would be willing to move All-Stars Lance Berkman, Carlos Lee and Roy Oswalt they are not going to get any younger, nor have any impact prospects coming up. Thus, the Stros seem stuck in perpetual above-mediocrity - just good enough to keep you entertained and to stay into the race until September, but not good enough to actually win anything.

So what to do? Barring a complete tearing down of the roster which would probably entail the trading of Lee and/or Oswalt (there might be a riot in Houston if Berkman was traded - in part because of how popular he is with the fans and in part because how much he loves being an Astro), there are some steps that the Stros can take to improve their chances.

1. Improve the Starting Rotation. There is little doubt that the rotation is the Astros weakest link by far. Oswalt is a given. Wandy still could be a plus pitcher, but let's face it, he's not a #2 at this point. Backe was flat out terrible this last year (6.05 ERA) and Moehler is mediocrity personified (4.56 ERA). The question is, how can they improve?

I would push hard to sign Randy Wolf. While this isn't a game changer, in his 12 starts last year, Wolf went 6-2 with a 3.57 ERA and a solid 1.30 WHIP.

Sign at least one SP free agent. I would push to sign either Ben Sheets, Ryan Dempster or Jon Garland in that order. There are problems with each:

Sheets: Once Milwaukee loses out on CC Sabathia (and once the NYY offer him $150M, they WILL lose out), I would expect them to pony up a substantial amount for Sheets. As talented as he is, he has made 31, 24 and 17 starts the past 3 years. Not exactly the kind of person you want to give more than 2 or 3 years to...and it may take more than that to get it done.

Dempster: Coming off his best year as a pro, he has made it clear he wants to stay in Chicago. With the resources they have, I would be shocked if he signed elsewhere. Still, it wouldn't hurt to kick the tires.

Garland: He's not a top flight pitcher anymore (if he ever was) but he's an innings eater, and would still be an improvement over Backe. Plus, he could be had for a much smaller salary than the above two.

2. Sign a bullpen arm: After declining Brocail's option for $3.6M (which i don't understand) the Stros are in need of another arm in the pen. I would have no problem with ponying up the cash to sign Juan Cruz who has struck out 246 batters the past 3 years in only 206.7 innings. In fact, I would like it if the Astros could sign Cruz to a 3 or 4 year deal, and find a taker for Valverde. If not, you would have two power arms in the bullpen for the 8th and 9th innings.

3. Figure out if Bourn can be a starting CF: There is no doubt that the trade of Bourn for Lidge (along with a few others thrown in) was a disaster. Lidge blew zero saves in leading the Phillies to the Series title, and Bourn continued to discover the fact that you aren't allowed to steal first base (.588 OPS). Either he gets his OPS up to .700, or he is a very, very fast pinch runner.

The Astros can score enough runs, but if they don't improve their SP, they have little chance of making the postseason next year, and even less of a chance of winning a series once they get there.

Updated Top 10

In case you were wondering, you have to look no farther than the previous post for proof that I have no idea what I'm talking about.  Thanks TCU.

Without further ado, my new Top 10:

1.  Texas Tech (10-0) - Consider me convinced in Leach, Harrell, Crabtree and their cohorts.  Their offense is simply the most efficient offense I've seen in a long, long time.  It all comes down to their trip to Oklahoma in 2 weeks obviously, but right now, they have earned the top spot in the land.

2. Alabama (10-0) - They gutted one out against LSU despite doing everything they could to give the Tigers the game.  Lousy offense, plus lousy kicking plus lousy everything....and yet, they won the game in a hostile setting.  It's going to come down to an AL/FL showdown in the SEC title game.

3. Texas (9-1) - Cruised past Baylor 45-21 and hopefully will slowly start to get the troops healthy again.  The fact that Oklahoma is ranked ahead of UT in the polls, despite UT having beaten them, is flat out stupid.  They've beaten 3 top-11 teams, and lost to the #2 Red Raiders on the next-to-last play of the game.  They're still the top 1 loss team in my book based on their body of work.  

4. Florida (8-1) - Demolished Vanderbilt 42-12.  Despite the fact that they look terrifying these days, I still rank their overall body of work slightly behind UT's, though they're more of a 3A these days.  They are clicking on all cylinders...thanks for coming Vandy.

5. Oklahoma (9-1) - Beat the lowly, lowly, lowly Aggies 66-28.  OU has now scored 231 points in the 4 games since they lost to UT.  Their game against Tech in 2 weeks could be the highest scoring game between two top 5 teams since, well, since they lost to UT 45-35.  Bradford and Company can flat out score.

6. USC (8-1) - Beat Cal 17-3.  Their offense still isn't sharp, but their D is everywhere. They're going to need a LOT of help to get to the BCS championship game.  And some help from one of Oregon St.'s opponents to even get into the Rose Bowl.  Plus they go to school across the street from the ghetto.

7. Utah (10-0) - Beat TCU 13-10.  The Utes proved me wrong by pulling out a late win against the Toads.  Now only their game against BYU in the Holy War stands between them and the BCS.

8. Boise St. (9-0) - Beat the holy crap out of Utah St. 49-14.  Barring a major, major upset Boise St. will be in the BCS as well.  Smurf Turf 2008!!!

9. Missouri (8-2) - Defeated Kansas St. 41-24.  Though they've still been up and down, they're going to have a shot at redemption against whoever comes out of the Big 12 South.  I wouldn't be looking forward to it, but they'll get it.

10. Penn St. (9-1) - Lost to Iowa 24-23.  I wanted to drop them out of the Top 10, but who do I promote? Ohio St.? Absolutely not.  Ball St.? Please.  Georgia. Good god.  So here they are. 

TCU vs. Utah

For two non-BCS teams it doesn't get any bigger than this: #10 vs. #11 in a battle not only for first place in the conference, but for possible automatic inclusion into a BCS bowl. That's the position TCU (9-1) and Utah (9-0) find themselves in tonight's prime time showdown in Salt Lake City. TCU has already dismantled #15 BYU 32-7 and their only loss was to #6 Oklahoma 35-10 early in the year. Though undefeated, Utah has had a number of close calls against the top teams on their schedules, including against Michigan 25-23, Air Force 30-23, Oregon State 31-28, and New Mexico 13-10. So who wins the game?

Offense: The two teams are almost identical:
Pts per Game: TCU 36.6, Utah 36.1
Yards per Game: TCU 408.5, Utah 405.3

TCU runs the ball more per game (224 to 185) while Utah employs the pass a bit more per game (220.3 to 184.5).

Defense: This isn't even close. TCU is the 3rd ranked scoring defense in the land, giving up only 10.8 points per game while Utah gives up a respectable 17.7 points per game. TCU also gives up more than 50 yard less per game on defense than the fighting mormons do.

Utah is playing at home, and is apparently wearing special black uniforms instead of their typical red home jerseys (Joseph Smith would have preferred white I'm sure). Hey Utah, that worked really well for Georgia earlier this year against Alabama!

Bottom line: running the ball and a good defense wins championships. TCU goes into Salt Lake City (aka No Fun City) and drops the defensive hammer on them in a 20-10 victory.

Obama

Tonight was amazing not only for anyone who was an Obama fan, but for anyone who has an appreciation of history.  It was a mere half-century ago that African-Americans were forced to drink at separate drinking fountains than whites, and now Obama - a man who is half African-American and half-white is President.  Even for those who disagree with his politics and his ideology, I hope that everyone appreciates the magnitude of what transpired today.  I firmly believe in Senator Obama as a candidate, and believe he will be a great President.  However, what I can't stop thinking about are all of the elderly African-American people in our country who lived through Jim Crow and segregation, and now before they die are getting the chance to see a man elected President with African-American heritage.

I think of Chris Rock, who said that he's not a fan of Barack Obama because he's black, but because he is Barack Obama.  Rock said (to paraphrase) I'm not a fan of him just because he's black...I wouldn't be a fan of Flavor Flav.

Agreed.  I could not be happier that Senator Obama is my President because I believe in his platform and ideology.  But more than that, I believe in the person he is.  I truly think that he appreciates the opportunity he's been given - not just that he's now President, but that he carries the banner and the mantle of being the first African-American President in our nation's history.  

I wish Senator Obama safety going forward and I pray that the country comes together and gives people who disagree them a chance.  To throw out the cliche of cliches...God bless America. And God bless everyone on this planet.  We have a long way to go, but I firmly believe that no matter what he is, that YES WE CAN!

How the C. Football Season Will End

With so many teams with one loss, and only 3 relevant D-1 (I'm still calling it D-1...this "FBS" crap is stupid) schools undefeated (sorry Utah and Boise St.), it's time to figure out the Big 12's possibilities for BCS bowls.

10 teams go to the BCS:
1. Big 12 Champ
2. Big 10 Champ
3. Big East Champ
4. SEC Champ
5. ACC Champ
6. Pac-10 Champ
7. 4 open slots.

The champ of Conference USA, Mountain West, Mid-American, Sun Belt, and WAC automatically qualifies if that team is ranked among the top 14 teams in the BCS final rankings. So who's in? Here is a look at each conference and the number of bids they will get in parentheses.

BIG 10 LOCK:

Penn St. (1) - They aren't going to lose 2 out of their last 3 games, and since they have a tiebreaker over anyone they would be tied with that has one loss....they're in. If they go undefeated they probably go to the BCS title game (though they shouldn't).

SEC:

Florida, Alabama (2): Barring a huge upset, these teams should meet in the SEC title game, most likely with 1 and 0 losses respectively. The winner of the title game automatically goes, and I would be surprised if the loser doesn't go to a BCS bowl as well - especially if the title game is competitive. Two fan bases that travel well and two traditional powers that are playing great football. Georgia and LSU may still be on the bubble, but after getting blown out by the two above teams, I can't imagine one of those would jump AL or FL to get into the BCS.

BIG EAST:

West Virginia or whoever wins this crapfest of a conference (1): Remember when West Virginia was a preseason national title contender? Me either. But they've been playing better recently, and neither Pitt nor South Florida has done much to make me think they can better West Virginia.

PAC-10:

USC, Oregon St. or both (1 or 2): Right now, Oregon St. controls their own destiny after beating USC in Corvallis earlier this year. If Oregon St. wins out, they go to the Rose Bowl. If USC wins out they would still go to a BCS bowl easily...again, they put people in the seats. If Oregon St. loses another game and USC wins out, this conference only gets one bid.

ACC:

Who knows? (1): Right now, I like Georgia Tech but realistically there are about 5 teams who could win this surprisingly competitive conference. Despite taking a lot of criticism these past few years, the ACC is full of above-average football teams. they don't have one marquee team, but top to bottom they are much tougher than the Pac-10. There will only be one bid out of this one.

Big 12:

Again, who knows? (2): Unlike the ACC, 2 of the Big 12 teams will go the BCS but it could be any of Texas Tech, Texas, Oklahoma, Oklahoma St. and Missouri. Missou only goes if they can upset the South champion, which seems unlikely at this point. Tech still has OU and OSU to play, and OU and OSU play as well...so the next few weeks will sort things out. I don't see Tech going 2-0 in those games, but if they do they're likely in, unless they were to lose to Missou...then all bets are off. OU and UT travel more fans and if UT runs the table, I believe they are in the BCS regardless because one of the below situations will have occurred:

1. Tech loses to either OU, OSU or both, and doesn't win the South
2. OU or OSU loses another game to give them 2 Ls (UT having beat them both twice)
3. Tech runs the table, giving both OU and OSU two losses.

the only situation I can see where UT doesn't go (barring another loss of course), is if Tech runs the table then loses to Missou in the title game. Missou has to go, and with Tech having beaten UT, a bowl COULD choose them over UT...though it's doubtful.

My prediction: Texas wins the big 12 south after both OU and OSU beat Tech the next two weeks, regardless of the OU-OSU outcome. Two Big 12 teams that go: UT and OU.

WAC:

Boise St. (1) - They aren't going to lose to anyone from here on out, and will automatically qualify.

Mountain West:

Utah or TCU (1) - BYU has started playing like crap, and is struggling to beat lesser teams. Utah should beat BYU in the last game of the year, thus making this weekend's Utah/TCU game the BCS qualifier. HUGE game for both of these schools...and I like TCU to beat 'em and put the Horned Frogs into the BCS.

My predictions for the 5 BCS games (not who I think SHOULD play in them, but I believe will):

BCS National Title Game: Penn St. vs. Florida
Orange Bowl: Georgia Tech vs. TCU
Rose Bowl: USC vs. Oklahoma
Fiesta Bowl: Texas vs. Boise St.
Sugar Bowl: Alabama vs. West Virginia

NOTE: After talking about this with one of my friends, Ball St. (currently leading the MAC and #17 in the BCS polls) has a chance to move into the top 14, which would mean that we could have THREE BCS busters (Ball St. Boise St and Utah/TCU) in this year's crop of games. Bring on the chaos!

YES WE CAN!!!

I'm officially not able to focus on work today due to my inability of the general population to agree with my politcal affiliation. If Obama can't win this year, coming off 8 years of the most unpopular president of our time, and against a remarkably mismanaged campaign with a moron as VP...well, a Democrat just can't win.



Here's hoping my friends and I are all popping champagne later tonight here in Austin - the one blueberry in the middle of the red tomato soup that is Texas!!!

Yes we can!!

My B(C)S Rankings...

Wow. So though I was upset and not pleased this weekend after the dastardly Red Raiders came back to defeat the Horns with 1 second (1 FREAKING second!) to play 39-33, I've got to say this: Objectively, the best game of the year in all of college football. Period.

However, and nobody is saying anything about this...HOW DOES UT NOT TAKE MORE TIME OFF THE CLOCK??? I'm not talking about the whole drive down the field. You have to first score a TD, I get that. But when they hiked the ball on the TD run, they still had 21 seconds on the clock. Any freshman who has played football on the PS3 or XBox knows that you run the clock all the way down to 1 second in that situation. If you don't score a TD on the drive, there isn't enough time anyway...so run it down as much as you can. If they do that, they score with 1:08 left. at the time, not a big deal....when you see that Tech scored the winning TD WITH ONE FREAKING SECOND LEFT, it is a HUGE DEAL. Mack Brown, you are better than that.

That being said, we've got two teams now going on two very different paths the rest of the way. Tech tries to get over the hoopla of Saturday's victory, and host possibly the most underrated team in the country in Oklahoma State. Not only will OSU be ready to go from the first whistle (For whatever reason, UT was not), but there is zero chance Tech will come out at the same level of intensity they did against the Horns. I'm not sure I've ever seen a team that focused from the opening kickoff through the end of the first quarter. Damn impressive Texas Tech. Then, if Tech survives OSU, they get to go to Norman the following week to face an OU team that seems to have 50 points by halftime each week. So good luck with that guys.

A very, very banged up UT team will limp home to host Baylor this weekend in a game that should help them get healthy very quickly. They can still win their last 3 games with the injuries they have, but they need to get healthy asap. They should pound Baylor, Kansas and A&M to finish the season 11-1, however, they will need Tech to either lose the next two weeks, or will need there to a 3 team tiebreaker to give them a shot at the Big 12 Title Game. It's Tech's bid to lose.

Here is my updated Top 10:

1. Alabama (Idle) - If they can win at #15 LSU, then it's relatively smooth sailing (Miss. St./Auburn) to the SEC title game. A rivalry game is always a tossup, but Auburn has been so dreadful on offense, they couldn't score with a $1000 at the Bunny Ranch these days. If Alabama gets to the SEC title game...they get Florida. Good luck with that.

2. Texas Tech (Def. #1UT 39-33) - The Biggest Game in Tech History is now followed by two more Biggest Games in Tech History. Lost these two, and the UT game is a distant memory. OSU will pound Tech's line more than UT did, and can score with the Red Raiders. Tech will need to play at the same level they managed against UT to win this one too.

3. Florida (Def. #8 Georgia 49-10) - I have them ranked ahead of UT for one simple reason...with UT being as hurt as it is RIGHT NOW, I think Florida beats them on a neutral site. The pain the Gators have inflicted the past 4 weeks has been unreal. 201-43 over the past 4 games. I have a feeling neither South Carolina, the Citadel nor Florida St. will do much to stem that tide. It's looking more and more like a 1 loss Florida team against #1 Alabama in the SEC title game. Again, good luck Bama. You'll need it.

4. Texas (Lost to #2 Texas Tech 39-33) - For the first time all season, UT didn't match the other team's intensity, and it cost them to the tune of a 22-6 halftime deficit. Despite their re-taking a 33-32 lead with 1:29 to go, they were outplayed in this game plain and simple. However, considering it was the 4th Top 11 Team in a row, in a hostile environment, UT has acquitted itself remarkably well this year. Hook 'Em!

5. Oklahoma (Def. Nebraska 62-28) - The offensive machine that is the Sooners just keeps humming along. On an aside, can they be called "Oklahoma" when there are more Texas players on their roster than Oklahoma ones? I say no...they should be called OklaTexas. Also, they have the worst fight song in the country. Have I mentioned there is no reason to go into the state of Oklahoma except for a sporting event that your team is playing in? Even then, just get in and get out. Ugh.

6. Oklahoma St. (Def. Iowa St. 59-17) - My pick for the most underrated team in the country gets their chance to shine this week in Lubbock. Their secondary better be ready, that's all I've got to say.

7. USC (Def. Washington 56-0) - Sure they're beating up on cream puffs, but if your life depended on picking the winner between USC and Penn St. and playing that game on a neutral site, who would you pick? That's what i thought.

8. Penn St. (Idle) - They only have 3 mediocre opponents, so they'll probably win those and back into the national title game, where they will get smoked by any of the teams above them. It's a nice story, but they have no chance in a title game. None.

9. Utah (Def. New Mexico 13-10) - They certainly didn't play like it this weekend, and let's face it, the rest of their schedule determines everything for this team. They host #12 TCU this weekend and #17 BYU in a few weeks. If they lose either of those games please forget I ever ranked them this high.

10. Boise St. (Def. New Mexico St. 49-0) - I debated between them and Missouri, but in the end, I can't rank a team with two losses ahead of one that's undefeated and did beat a ranked Oregon team on the road. The problem with Boise St. is that until a bowl game, we have no way to gauge them since the rest of their conference is crap.

Also, much love to my Rice Owls who held on 49-44 at UTEP! Army is now up. Can we go 9-3? YES WE CAN!!

Big Weekend of College Football

Saturday, November 1st is a HUGE day of football....but as far as I'm concerned, only 4 games matter:

1. Rice Owls (4-1 conference, 5-3 overall) at UTEP Miners (3-1 conf., 3-4 overall)

Overview: Why is this game huge? Well, because I'm a proud Rice grad ('97) and this could be our most successful Rice season in nearly a decade. Besides, the Owls are a fun team to watch. They are ranked 9th nationally in passing yards (308.3ypg), 16th in total offense (445.0ypg) and 10th in points per game (40.1). Of course, they also give up 36.5 per game which ranks them 112th in the country. In other words, a LOT of points are going to be put up on the scoreboard.

The Teams: Currently projected by ESPN to go to the Armed Forces bowl in Fort Worth, Rice has only had two rough games this year: a 52-10 shellacking at #1 Texas (though they had many opportunities early on to make a game of it) and a disappointing 63-28 loss at #19 Tulsa. Their only other loss was a 38-21 defeat at Vandy in a game that was tied at the half. UTEP is traditionally tough at home, and is coming off a 77-35 shellacking at Tulsa in which the Golden Hurricane (really the Golden Hurricane? You can't add an "S" onto that? Also, how the hell is anything associated with Tulsa called the Hurricanes? There's a reason Tulsa isn't in the top 25 academically I think.) racked up 791 yards of offense.

If Rice wins, they're bowl-eligible at 6-3, play their last 3 games (Army, (We are) Marshall, and Houston (Give me a "U", give me an "H", what does it spell? "Uh" Stupid Cougar High)) all at home and should be favored in each.

Prediction: Rice 45 UTEP 38...Rice heads onwards to a 9-3 year.

2. Notre Dame (5-2) hosting Pittsburgh (5-2)

Overview: A win for each school gets them bowl-eligible, and gets them to a solid 6-2 record moving forward. Notre Dame is coming off a 33-7 domination of Washington that would be impressive except for the nagging fact that Washington really, really sucks. Pittsburgh just got boat raced by a remarkably below average Rutgers team 54-34 (at HOME no less), a game that served as additional proof that Dave Wannstedt fails to prepare his team on a regular basis. Hey Dave, not sure if you knew this or not, but Rutgers blows! Oh wait, so does your team apparently. Except for sweet, sweet LeSean McCoy. If he was a Longhorn he would have to issue restraining orders to keep my man crush away from him.

The Teams: Notre Dame. What the hell do I make of this team? My wife went there and after seeing a game there (and spending $200 in the greatest on-campus store in the country) I'm partial to the Irish as well...but they should just be better than this. They barely beat an absolutely god-awful San Diego State team at home; They beat Michigan - but then again, who hasn't this year?; They got handled easily by Michigan St. and blew a game they were in control of at North Carolina. So basically they could easily be 6-1, but could also be 3-4. Their frosh wideouts are incredible, but scattershot arm Claussen continues to have problems getting them the ball. More alarming is that Charlie Weis actually looks to be getting fatter. Pittsburgh. Same thing. Ranked in the preseason, then you go out and lose to Bowling Green. You battle back, get ranked again, and then get blown out at home by the University of Mediocrity.

Prediction: Notre Dame 27 Pittsburgh 24. The Irish continue to stagger and start to a 9-2 record, getting all of the millions of Irish fans excited going into USC...and then they lose by 30. Again.

3. #8 Georgia (7-1) at #6 Florida (6-1) in Jacksonville.

Overview: The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party once again has national title implications. After laying a huge dump for 30 minutes in the Georgia Dome against Alabama, the Bulldogs have looked pretty solid. They almost managed to come back against Alabama (not enough attention has been paid to the fact that Alabama nearly gave that game away), then put together two workmanlike victories against Tennessee and Vanderbilt. They blew out LSU last week, but this isn't your 2007 LSU. Bottom line, they are a very talented team that still isn't playing up to their talent. Florida on the other hand, looks terrifying. They laid an inexplicable egg against Ole Miss, but while it was an unacceptable loss, Ole Miss is a VERY underrated squad. They are 4-4, but their losses have been by 2, 6, 7 and 4 points. So it's not like they lost to a Big Ten team or anything. Since then though....good grief. 38-7 at Arkansas, 51-21 hosting LSU and a 63-5 home win over Kentucky. Also, Tim Tebow is good and stuff.

The Teams: Everyone knows the names, the faces, and the traditions. And while bulletin board material only goes so far, I wouldn't underestimate the added desire on Florida's sideline to make up for the perceived unsportsmanlike conduct of Georgia's "Let's everyone dance in the endzone after our first TD" last year. I think in terms of talent getting drafted the teams are even, but in terms of performance at the college level...Georgia has a ways to go to catch up to the Gators. And this is coming from a person who hates all Florida schools with a passion (though since my boy Kosak went to Florida, I hate Florida less than the others). Let's look at the pros and cons of each:

Georgia: Pros - Uga is the best mascot in the country. Period. I will not argue this with anyone. Hot undergrads. Cool uniforms. The name "Matthew Stafford" is a great QB name. They beat LSU - my third least favorite university in the country (I'm looking at you OU and A&M).

Cons: I'm not sure it's an actual "institution of higher learning."

Florida: Pros - Kosak went to school there. Hot undergrads.

Cons: Uniforms are horrible (it makes them look like wussy cartoon characters). The "Gator Chop" is annoying (though still 1000 times better than Florida St.'s Chop. God I hate Florida St.). "Tim Tebow" sounds like the kid in little league that eats his own boogers.

Prediction: Florida 38, Georgia 31. Gators will be making a case for the BCS title game after beating Bama later this season.

4. #1 Texas (8-0) at #6 Texas Tech (8-0).

Overview: As Keith Jackson would say....ohhhhhhh doctor! In the middle of Tech's best season in two decades, here comes the battle tested #1 team in the country and ESPN Gameday to town for an epic showdown. (or as Texas fans call it these days, "just another game") If Texas wins, they have their path to the title game laid out in front of them. If Tech wins, they are finally on the map with the biggest win in school history.

The Teams: For Texas, this is game #4 in the toughest 4 game stretch anyone has played in my lifetime. #1 Oklahoma? Check. #11 Missouri? Check. #6 Oklahoma St.? Check. Now another #6 team, but this time on the road. For Tech, it's the first of 3 HUGE games - Oklahoma State comes to town next week, and then it's off to Norman to do battle with the #4 Sooners and roughly 80,000 degenerate fans. Tech almost always plays UT tough, and this week promises to be no exception. You cannot play the level of competition the Horns have played the last 3 weeks and not be physically beaten down a bit. Tech meanwhile, has only played one ranked opponent this year, and that was last week against a Kansas team that looked like they borrowed their defense from a local Lawrence high school team. So while the 63-21 game was duly impressive, I'm still not sure if it was because of how good Tech is, or how horrid Kansas' defense was.

Tech will be fighting nerves knowing the eyes of the country are on them, while UT has already been through 3 of these games the past 3 weeks, and nerves shouldn't be a problem. The winning QB will undoubtedly be the Heisman favorite after the week to boot. To me, the key to the game is simple: If UT tackles well and limits YAC they win the game. If Crabtree and Company are turning 8 yard slants into 50 yard gains...Tech wins. UT is going to score. A lot. Can Tech keep up?

Prediction: Texas 52, Texas Tech 42. UT then pounds Baylor, Kansas and A&M and gets a rematch with a pissed off Missouri in the Big 12 title game.

2008 College Football Season Recap

As always, a college football season promises upsets and this season has been no exception, although some of the "upsets" (Alabama 34, Clemson 10) no longer look like upsets in hindsight. That being said here are the teams I think are the ten best in the nation with a few comments on each:

(1) Texas - obviously the clear cut #1 and is now 3/4 of the way through winning 4 straight games against top 11 teams in a row. I'm not sure if it's unprecedented, but I can't imagine a more rugged stretch of football being heaped upon one team in a row. I think this past Saturday said much more about Oklahoma St. than it did about UT - though UT didn't play their "A" game, they simply had to beat a very, very underrated football team. Anyone who thinks the SEC is the best league in the nation this year is nuts.

(2) Alabama - I have to vote them #2 because they're undefeated, but basically that's because of one half of great football (first half against Georgia en route to a 41-30 win). They beat an overrated Clemson team, eeked by teams like Ole Miss (24-20), Tulane (20-6) and Kentucky (17-14). While Ole Miss has turned out to be decent, my Rice Owls destroyed Tulane 42-17 AT Tulane last week and Florida squeaked by Kentucky 63-5. The Tide are back...but I don't see them getting by Georgia or Florida in the SEC title game.

(3) Oklahoma - Basically they are not #1 because UT got one stop when they needed it and Oklahoma didn't. They've been inconsistent for stretches of games, but their offense is deadly and their second closest game has been their 45-31 win against Kansas in which they never trailed. Still have two HUGE tests against Texas Tech at home and on the road at Okie St. My guess is they lose one of the two and possible end up outside the BCS.

(4) Florida - Ole Miss? Really?? How much of an aberration does that game look like now? The last 3 weeks they've looked as good as any team in the country. Their defense looks much improved and their offense is flat-out first rate. The winner of this weekend's contest at Georgia wins the SEC. Mark it down.

(5) Texas Tech - Tell me how this 8-0 team is ranked below Penn St. Please? They beat up on cupcakes primarily so far...but so has Penn St. But after absolutely pants-ing a solid Kansas team by 42 AT Kansas, they are legit. Of course, they could be 8-3 after the next 3 weeks (hosting UT, hosting Oklahoma St., at Oklahoma), but I think they win 1 maybe 2 of the games. Bottom line...this isn't a gimmick team.

(6) Georgia - Speaking of aberrations, what the hell happened in the Georgia Dome last month? This team is arguably the most talented team in the SEC and has almost gone under the radar since the Alabama game. Again, the winner of this week's game against Florida wins the SEC. Sorry Tide.

(7) USC - I have no idea what to think of this team. One thing their season definitely has shown me is that the Big Ten really, really sucks. They DOMINATED Ohio St., and since then have only dominated arguably the worst team in the country (Washington St.). Nobody has more talent than USC - others may have as much, but nobody has more. That being said, they've struggled at times to put people away (Arizona St.), and struggled to win period (Arizona). They could beat UT or lose to an unranked team and I would be equally unsurprised. Weird team.

(8) Oklahoma St. - I really had this team underrated until this past Saturday. When I would see them earlier in the year I would just yell "I am a man!" at nobody in particular. I hadn't given toolface the credit he deserves for building a heck of a squad. Trips to Texas Tech and a home game against Oklahoma will go a long way towards determining their final ranking, but it doesn't mean they aren't a top 10 team. The Big 12 South is really that good this year.

(9) Penn St. - "But they're undefeated, how can you rank them so low?" Easy, the Big Ten sucks. I think the Mountain West is as tough a conference top to bottom, maybe tougher. That's how lousy the Big Ten is. I know conference strength is cyclical, but it's time for Big Ten backers to realize and admit how mediocre their conference is this year. Ohio St. was bitch slapped at USC, and then proceeded to play possibly the ugliest game ever against Penn St. Beating Ohio St. 13-6 isn't exactly a #3 in the country endorsement. You couldn't pay me to rank this team over Texas Tech. The Spread HD works against crappy teams. If Penn St. played any of the top teams in the Big 12 they lose by 20. Listen, I love JoPa as much as the next guy, but Penn St.'s only decent win was at an Ohio St. ballclub that might be the most pathetic offensively in the Top 25. Yes, they have a good defense, but you still have to score points.

I would have no problems voting a team with one loss ahead of Penn St. into the NCS. We do it with teams like Boise St., and right now they are about the same as Penn St. Sorry Nittany Lions. Right now, if the NCS was UT/Florida/Georgia/Alabama/Oklahoma/Texas Tech vs. Penn St., you're looking at a score around 45-21.

(10) Utah - I think if they play at Michigan right now they win by 20. First game of the year jitters, but this is a darn good ballclub. If they get by TCU and BYU, they deserve a shot at the NCS just as much as Penn St. does. Won't happen mind you, but still.